[both screaming]
[man #1] The bank's being robbed!
- [man #2] Quickly! - [man #1] Surround the building!
- [man #2] Go that way! You go this way! - [glass shattering]
[alarm ringing]
- [whistle blowing] - There he is!
- Come on! - After him, men!
[shouting]
That way!
- He came this way. I'm sure of it. - Come on!
Come on, mates! Keep up!
Sorry, sir.
[metal clanging]
Today is the day I will finally achieve what has been deemed impossible.
Man can break the 50-mile-per-hour speed barrier.
And you're lucky to be a part of it, Pierre.
- It's Jean Michel, sir. - Yes.
We will make history. Or we will die trying.
- Die? - This is very exciting.
That's it! I refuse to be catapulted,
electrocuted, or have my internal organs disrupted any longer!
I quit!
He is a very sick man!
The electrocution was not my fault!
You refused to wear the rubber underpants!
We're looking for a bank robber.
Is there no man brave enough to be my valet?
Oh... Aah!
[groans]
I'm your new valet.
Uh... I must commend the valet service
on their impeccable foresight.
But they know I only accept French valets.
Yes. Oh! Oui! Oui!
I come from a long line of French valets.
On my father's side. Very, very French.
- But your accent. - My father French. Never speak.
My mother Chinese and never shuts up. All the children pick up her accent.
[steam hissing]
- [whistle blowing] - Very well.
Will you be willing to risk your life to challenge the laws of physics?
- Yes. Uh, and I can sing, too. - excellent. Pop this little hat on.
- He's got to be in here. - He's this way!
[rumbling, hissing]
And the throttle in your right hand controls the speed.
- How do I stop? - Godspeed!
Uh...
Twenty-five miles per hour. Yes, the pressure's stable-ish.
We need more speed, man.
Waah! Wee-yoo!
Forty miles per hour. Hang on in there, my good man.
[screaming]
- Forty-seven. - [groaning]
- Forty-eight. - [whining]
Forty-nine.
eureka! We've done it!
[screaming]
Uh...
Waaah!
I say, I say. Uh, good morning.
- I'm looking for a man with... - Over here!
There he is. There's my valet.
- [screaming] - [people screaming]
Sorry! New valet.
[screaming]
Whoa!
- [screaming] - Whoa!
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- [both screaming] - You'll be able to let go any second.
The pack will run out of steam
in exactly three, two, one.
- Now. - [screaming]
Look out!
Well done! We've broken the human speed barrier.
[panting] Good-bye, sir.
It's been very nice valeting for you.
Let's... do it again soon.
Please, wait!
With you as my brave valet, I can test all my inventions.
No!
[bobby] Spread out!
- Cover that... - Yes.
- I take the job. - Splendid!
I can't wait to present my results to the Academy.
[applause]
[man] Too kind. Too kind. Thank you.
And with this grant to develop new applications for copper wire,
Dr. Ramsey invented this.
[gasps]
Needless to say, the Royal Academy of Science
declared this crackpot mentally incompetent,
and he was duly dispatched to a lunatic asylum.
Sir. I have an urgent announcement for you. Here.
Don't just stand there. Read it.
Oh. Um...
"lt is with great distress
that Scotland Yard announces
that the Bank of england has been robbed."
[crowd gasps]
My stolen Jade Buddha stolen? You blighter!
You gave me every assurance that the Bank of england was impenetrable!
Sir, sir, I said, "lmpregnable."
It's the same thing, you idiot!
Please, please, not the quills! [shrieking]
Lord Salisbury!
Please contact General Fang and inform her, no Buddha, no deal.
[woman] To forgo your obligation would be dishonorable, Lord Kelvin.
A woman in the Royal Academy?
The Jade Buddha was delivered by us to the Bank of england.
- What happens while in British hands... - Is absolutely your concern.
Colonel Kitchner, chief of Scotland Yard,
please inform General Fang what other items were stolen from the bank.
[whimpering] Nothing else.
exactly.
It seems your little land dispute has spilled over onto our noble shore.
Until the Jade Buddha is back in my possession,
you and your cause will receive no British military assistance whatsoever.
Kitchner.
My agents will retrieve the Jade Buddha again, Lord Kelvin.
This time, do not let it slip through your fingers.
A female general.
What sort of pathetic man takes orders from a woman?
Cor!
- Come away from here. - [boy] Oh, Dad. Can't we stay?
My wind-powered pulley system
circulates the house with fresh air.
Kitchen items are to be placed on the white boat,
and the blue is for laundry.
But most importantly, this supplies the house
with a running current of electricity.
electricity.
This is my comprehensive data schedule and list of regulations.
It's quite simple. You're never to divert one iota from my plans.
I must live my life with total efficiency
to maximize my inventing capacity,
thus enabling me to do the most I can for mankind.
Uh, Mr. Fogg, you are a noble, precise gentleman.
Thank you. Uh... sorry. What was your name? Ahem.
Passport. Too.
Passepartout.
[whistles]
[Passepartout] Bottled light.
A miracle.
Hardly. Just undiscovered science
from an American named Thomas edison.
It turns on with a whistle.
[whistles]
Please don't do that. [whistles]
Ah, I see your eye is drawn
to what I hope will one day be my crowning achievement.
A giant moth?
- It's a flying machine. - It can fly?
Yes.
No. But it will, one day.
One day it will transport people through the air.
Perhaps over entire oceans.
[whistles]
Uh-oh.
I think I'm going to have to make a rule for this.
Dear Father:
I will find the fastest way back to China...
to make our village safe once again.
[ringing]
[Fogg] Passepartout?
Departure for the Royal Academy of Science in two minutes.
Prepare my urban transport device.
It's the shoes with little wheels on them.
Clear the way. Clear the way.
Mr. Fogg coming through. Watch out! Watch out!
excuse me. Out of way.
- Gangway. - Fogg's arrived.
- Gangway. Ooh! - Hey!
That makes it exactly ten minutes before noon.
That will be all.
Gentlemen.
Today I have proved that man
can break the 50-mile-per-hour speed barrier
without disrupting his internal organs.
[murmuring]
Where is your Royal Academy of Science authorization?
What am I thinking? What a fool.
That would mean that you were a real scientist!
[laughing]
By your definition, a real scientist's objective
would be to prevent man from progress.
We live in a golden age, Fogg.
everything worth discovering has been discovered.
Yet ridiculous dreamers like you insist
on a past filled with dinosaurs...
and evolution.
- [laughing] - And on a future filled
with motorized vehicles,
radio waves,
and flying machines!
Confound it! The bloody Bank of england is a madhouse!
Rumor has it the bloke's a foreigner. An Asian chap.
Rumor has it the bloke's a foreigner.
Nothing.
Yes, I heard it was a Chinese fellow, and he acted alone.
[whispering]
No. Actually, they say he was Norwegian.
[murmuring]
In fact, though, it was a gang of elderly Norwegians.
I heard it from a very reliable source
that it was a gang of redheaded elderly Norwegians
with very tiny feet.
[murmuring]
It's about time someone robbed that bank.
- [gasping] - Like this very institution,
the Bank of england is outdated.
As usual, your contempt for tradition is appalling.
You rest on your traditions, if you prefer,
but, as with this bank robber, progress waits for no one.
So now you're an expert on the bank thief as well.
Give us the benefit of your ineffable wisdom, Fogg.
Twenty-six minutes ago, a ship left Dover for Paris.
From there, the thief takes the Orient express,
where he transfers to a steamer, from lstanbul to lndia.
In little over a month, that man could be in China.
If we're to believe Fogg's calculations, he will have circled the globe
and returned to england in a fortnight.
[laughing]
Actually, by my calculations, it would be closer to, uh, exactly 80 days.
Outstanding idea.
Well, then, Fogg,
Iet's see you circumnavigate the world
in 80 days.
I... That would be a fruitless use of my time.
I'm on the verge of numerous...
countless... scientific breakthroughs.
You coward. Admit it. It cannot be done.
It can! I could do it.
A wager.
- $1 0,000. - [clamoring]
Unlike you and your colleagues, money does not inspire me.
I believe every man has his price.
even you, o noble Phileas Fogg.
There must be something I could offer that would be worthy of your time.
There is. Your position as head of the Royal Academy.
[clamoring]
I could lead Britain and the rest of the world
into a new age of progress and discovery.
[laughing]
- Fair enough. - What?
I, Lord Kelvin, hereby vow
to surrender my position as minister of science to Phileas Fogg...
- No! - No! No!
if he can circumnavigate the globe...
in no more than 80 days.
But if he cannot,
he must never set foot in this academy again,
he must tear down that abhorrent eyesore he calls a laboratory,
and he must swear...
never to invent again.
Just as I always suspected, Fogg.
You promise so much, yet you deliver...
oh, nothing.
[laughing]
- I'll take your wager. - What did you say?
I'll take your wager!
He did it.
Then it's done.
A man who has never set foot out of england circling the globe.
[laughing]
This is going to be rather amusing.
History won't remember your amusement, but it will be hard-pressed to forget
the moment I'm standing on the very top step of the Royal Academy of Science.
- [bell tolls] - By the strike of noon,
after l, Phileas Fogg, have traveled around the world
in 80 days!
[cheering, applause]
[Fogg] Oh, dear.
Mr. Fogg, we all pack and ready to go. Mr. Fogg, are you in here?
[crowd chanting] Phileas! Phileas! Phileas!
- Uh... - Mr. Fogg, are you well, sir?
Huh?
Uh, Passepartout.
Would you... sit with me a moment?
Yes, sir.
I risked everything, my entire life's work.
For something you believe in.
Nothing could make more sense than that, sir.
You are honorable, Passepartout.
But I'm afraid this was a calamitous lapse of judgment.
- Mr. Fogg? - Yes?
- Let your family... - There is no one left to tell.
This house and my inventions are all I have.
And a brave French valet that will help you make it around the world in 80 days.
- You really believe we can succeed? - Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes!
You're mad. We'll be sliced to pieces before we reach lndia.
[man] We're with you, sir!
Good luck!
Halt!
- Quite a contraption here, Mr. Fogg. - Thank you, lnspector.
But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to detain you and your valet until further notice.
This here doohickey is in violation of the city's new vehicle code.
Vehicle code?
Code 431.
All vehicles must be powered by horses.
Or other indigenous quadruped creatures of the like,
excluding giraffes and...
You're driveling. Stand aside.
I'm about to embark upon a journey around the world.
Not in this monstrosity, you're not. No!
- Mm-mm. - That's hot.
It's... Ow!
[shrieking, blubbering]
- [loud crash] - [crowd moans]
Time to go. We have a boat to catch.
Stealing a police vehicle is not an acceptable way to begin our journey.
- Not stealing. Borrowing. - excuse us.
We're borrowing this vehicle to catch our ship to Paris,
if someone could inform the appropriate authorities.
Bloody hell! Me brain's leakin'!
[shrieks]
Ahh! Damn that nincompoop Fix.
What's the point of hiring a corrupt police officer
if he can't abuse the law properly?
- Kitchner. - Sir!
Tell Fix to pack his bags.
- He's going on a trip. - Right away, sir.
[speaking Chinese]
[ship's whistle blowing]
Hmm. Smart man.
Passepartout, tell this impudent fellow we must
Ieave within six and a half hours, or we miss our connection in Constantinople.
Yes, sir. Please. We are in a great hurry.
- Passepartout? - Yes?
In French.
[sighs]
Sacre bleu, la champignon,
chateau, bien, francoise, voila, ooh-la-la, foie de gras.
- What did he say? - Uh...
He say...
- What? - He says not to worry.
The next train will leave in five hours. Good time for sightseeing.
Passepartout, this is a scientific expedition, not a holiday!
I will not miss this train.
[bell jingles]
Ah!
- Very amazing. - What?
What does it say?
eddie Thomason will be showing his inventions.
Thomas edison? Here in Paris?
What a chance for you to meet another great inventor.
I would quite like to tell him about my whistle modification.
Good idea.
See? exposition. Science.
[speaking Chinese]
I assure you these are not the works of Thomas edison.
Uh, I think he is somewhere around here.
Wait a moment. This isn't science.
This is art.
- Yeah. - Hmm.
That painting is highly inaccurate.
[woman] It's not supposed to be accurate.
The artist views reality through imagination
rather than simply recording it.
It is called "lmpressionism."
Well, um, I'm not impressed.
Trees are not violet, grass is not charcoal,
and a man cannot...
fly.
You feel something.
You dream of flying.
Or of naked men.
- Sometimes. - Ah.
The flying. N-N-Not the men.
I am glad you like my painting. Monique La Roche.
Phileas Fogg. I must say, it's a lot better than these amateurs.
What did he say?
- Oh, no. - [speaking French]
[clears throat]
[speaking French]
Non.
Goodness. What was that all about?
Well, a wealthy gentleman bought my painting for a lot of money.
Champagne for everyone!
[shouting in Chinese]
I'm still looking for Mr. eddie. Nice painting.
Have you considered a career in schematic drawing?
No. It would be far too limiting.
At least your work shows genuine promise.
Thank you. Those I painted many months ago.
I was lacking inspiration.
I found some men to help me find Mr. "edimon."
- This way. - Thank you. Thank you.
[shouting in Chinese]
He's very eager.
[shouting] Get him!
Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, it's terrible, no?
No, no, it's...
- clever. - Oh.
Hmm. Yes.
- He's a clown. - Mm-hmm.
And yet...
he's incredibly angry.
The irony is, uh, terrifying.
- Is that good? - Is it?
Ah, this is interesting.
Without opposable thumbs, a dog could never play poker.
Yes, they can.
Where have you seen a dog playing poker?
Right there.
Perhaps I'm not the best judge.
[screaming]
Bandits! They come to take away all the paintings!
- Quickly! Come this way! - Passepartout!
Go, go, go!
[speaking Turkish]
It is magnificent.
Mr. Fogg, his house is even bigger than yours.
His collection, his taste... It is exquisite.
Yes, it is.
Not good. Very old. Look. Broken.
And where is His Highness?
Oh. The prince is also a talented musician.
If I did nothing but lounge about the palace,
I'd learn to pluck a few notes.
Let's make this brief. I'll pose for photographs,
wearing a turban, holding an atlas...
[Hapi] Mademoiselle.
How magical that our paths should cross. Do you believe in fate?
Is that what you call it
when one stops a train and kidnaps its passengers?
Phileas Fogg.
Please forgive me,
but I feel like Aphrodite herself descended to earth.
What is a ravishing woman like you...
- I never think when I'm naked. - I do. In the bath.
- Yes. Well, I mean... - No!
Don't touch it!
- That is my most treasured possession. - I was only pointing. I was just...
Don't even point.
Rodin.
Yes. A Rodin.
Oh.
I have never seen a more beautiful... muscular form.
Well, I can assure you, I'm in much better shape now.
Incroyable. It is a sculpture of you!
Yes.
[Monique] "Hapi Birthday. Your pal, Rodin."
- Come, my dear. Let us dine. - Yes.
Ah, Mr. Fogg, please join us.
No, sorry. We are on a tight schedule.
We will join you, actually. But just one drink.
[Hapi, Monique laughing]
After the duke and the duchess sat down in the bath,
I realized I forgot to put on my bathing suit.
I'm such a fool.
Always embarrassing myself in front of visiting dignitaries.
But you know how that can be, right, Phil?
[chuckles] Uh, yes.
Uh, it's Phileas, actually.
So, Foggy, tell me. I heard you're an inventor.
Well, I try to apply myself to thinking of new ways
to help better mankind, if that's what you mean.
Well, I'm not an inventor,
but I did develop a new way of irrigating dry land
so that no one in my kingdom ever has to be hungry.
Oh.
Mr. Fogg invented wheelie shoes.
Not now, Passepartout.
Oh.
[Monique] Mmm.
- Miss La Roche. - Hmm?
It is mesmerizing, the way your face illuminates.
Oh...
Her discoloration could be an allergic reaction
or a mild form of hives.
[scoffs, snorts]
Although I've noticed a certain
Iuminescent glow about her complexion when she's drawing.
And sometimes, when she's... concentrating on her latest work,
her ears will actually flutter.
- It's rather fetching. - Guess who else was in this bath.
U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes.
Shouldn't we be going? We have a schedule to keep.
Thank you for your hospitality.
It's been absolutely fascinating, but I'm afraid we must push on.
Yes.
Very well. The gentlemen are free to go.
But Miss La Roche... stays here with me.
- To be my wife. - Hmm?
Yes. Wife number seven.
- You have seven wives? - One for each day of the week.
- This is absolutely ridiculous! - No more talk!
Prince Hapi has spoken!
Well, we did say one drink. Passepartout, we're leaving.
I can tell when we're not wanted.
Monsieur Fogg!
- [whimpers] - Do Tuesdays work for you?
- Good-bye. - [Passepartout] Thank you!
No!
[Phileas] Halt!
Or Hapi gets smashed!
Please! Anything but my statue of me!
Miss La Roche, please join us, if you will.
- All of you, drop your weapons. - Do as he says!
- Get in the tent. - everybody!
- Now! - Let's go. Come on.
Now, take off your clothes and throw them... Uh...
I assure you the statue is not armed... harmed in any way.
- Get them! - [guards shouting]
His arm!
Thank you, Phileas. That was very heroic.
Yes, and needlessly time-consuming.
This is exactly why I should never have let you come along.
[Hapi] Kill them!
[yelling] I want my arm!
[crying] No!
Sir! I've received a telegram from lnspector Fix.
- A-ha! - According to him,
the bank thief and Fogg's valet are the same man.
Fogg doesn't realize he's transporting the bank thief!
Or does he? He did leave town in quite a hurry.
Wouldn't you say, Lord Rhodes?
Indeed, Lord Salisbury.
eh, evading arrest,
stealing a police vehicle,
sounds rather incriminating to me.
One can almost deduce
this entire bet was merely a ruse
to facilitate his escape.
- Don't you agree, Lord Kelvin? - Yes.
Brilliant, Lord Salisbury.
I shall name a beef-related entree after you in your honor! Kitchner!
- Sir! - lnform your men at Scotland Yard
that Phileas Fogg is without a doubt the man who robbed the Bank of england!
- Where are they now? - They're taking a train across lndia,
from Bombay to Calcutta.
Thank God we own lndia!
I want their faces in every police station,
army barracks, post office, railway station and outhouse in lndia!
We're going to stop Fogg and get my Jade Buddha back
by any means necessary!
[speaking lndian dialect]
Agra is where we will capture them!
Intercept them at Agra!
Carry on, Cutter!
Move it! Move it! Fall in!
[train whistle blowing]
[children laughing]
And they were the greatest kung fu boxers.
Ten Tigers of Canton.
Brothers in arms.
They fought to keep order and justice in China.
The most famous of Ten Tigers is Wong Fei Hung.
- [children oohing] - [goats bleating]
[Passepartout] Armed with only bamboo sticks...
It's salivating on... please.
Is this your goat?
Did they really fight like tigers?
each Tiger have their own animal fighting style.
- Like tiger. - [laughing]
Snake. Snake head, snake tail, snake mouth, snake tongue!
Where are my calculations?
Monkey!
The goat! Passepartout, I'm being attacked by a ferocious animal!
- It has small horns. - Sorry, Mr. Fogg.
Please keep that inconsiderate beast away from me.
And refrain from ridiculous anecdotes.
Why do you not like his story, Mr. Frog?
It's Fogg. Phileas Fogg.
How could a man learn to defend himself by watching animals behave like...
- animals? - It is famous legend.
- A ridiculous legend. - Most legends are born from truth.
Yes.
But all truths are born from facts.
Solid, tangible facts that can be calculated
and written down on paper.
- And then eaten by a goat. - [children laughing]
Mr. Feelsillious, when I tell the story
of the man who circled the entire world in 80 days,
would that not be a legend?
Only if the man's name was Feelsillious Frog.
- What the blazes is it now? - Come this way! Come on!
Look sharp, now. Get 'em!
Find these men!
Uh-oh. Time to go. They seem to think we robbed the Bank of england.
Preposterous. This is a desperate attempt by Lord Kelvin
to impede my journey.
I am a British citizen. I have nothing to fear.
- [gunshots] - [people screaming]
except bullets.
Listen up! Have you seen these men?
Come on!
Any word on the bank thieves, sir?
They were on the train. Keep your rifles ready.
They won't get past us, sir!
Ladies, have you seen these two men?
Look closely. They're very dangerous.
[Phileas] They're everywhere! This is not going to work!
- [Passepartout] Just act like ladies. - [Monique] Not a problem.
[in high voice] Hello. Hello! Ah.
- I feel faint. - Phileas, women are not that weak!
- No, but I am. - [bag hits ground]
Hello, darling. What can I do for you, eh?
[gibberish]
What nice hand, nice eye, nice hair...
- Hang about! - [screams]
[groans]
Mr. Fogg, what are you doing? This is no time to sleep.
Stop, stop.
Go, go, go! Get us out of Agra quickly.
[Monique] Passepartout, we did it.
Hey, wrong way.
Ah!
- [shouts] - [screaming]
[snarling]
Phileas? No! No!
[metal creaking]
Aah! Run! Run, Passepartout!
Ah! Ah!
Ahhh!
Fogg's valet! Heh!
- What are you doing? - Now I gotcha!
Hand over the Jade Buddha!
[Fix] Oh!
[snarling]
You're under arrest! Whoa! Watch me plums! Ooh!
Now you get him very mad! Let's go.
Stop, or I'll arrest you as well!
- [roaring] - [shrieking]
[Passepartout] Run!
- Which way? - Down!
- [Fix screams] - Again!
[Passepartout] Down!
Jump!
[yowling]
- Go, go, go! - [Fix] What's upsetting him?
- He wants the Jade Buddha! - Then give it to him!
- Phileas, wake up! - Please, please. You must go.
- My husband will be home soon. - Phileas!
[yelling]
Ow! Ay!
Phileas, help!
Leave her alone! I'll protect you!
[groans] Ah!
I'm here, my dear.
Uh, that stumble was simply to buy me time.
This cane is not as it appears.
If I depress this button, it would deploy a weapon more deadly than yours.
This... is...
a strange knife.
Isn't it a sextant?
Yes.
Huh.
- Are you all right, my dear? - Phileas, that was so unlike you. Ah!
[officer] You men, come with me!
You'd better put this on.
Perhaps I should wear women's clothing more often.
- [groaning] - Oh.
We should run.
- What, now? - Mm-hmm.
Yes, we should run.
[roaring]
- Break down the door! - Okay.
No, not me brains!
[yelling]
- Give me the Jade "Bu-ddha"! - Okay, okay.
What's "Bu-ddha"?
Get ready to jump! Now!
It is him, the englishman who robbed the Bank of england!
He's escaping in that palkee-garry!
[soldier] Hey, there he is!
They'll check all trains heading east.
If we could make it to the coast, we can't sail into Singapore or Hong Kong.
- They're both British colonies. - Does england own everything in Asia?
Not China. Not yet.